‘I’m Sorry’
Those were the words Seema Khanna told her son Rahul, an hour after she had exploded in a fit of rage. All because he had accidentally left the lights on in the living room all night. It was only later, as she was finishing her work in the kitchen, that she realized she had crossed a line..
On many occasions she had held back from saying ‘I’m Sorry.’ Not this time, though.
There is absolutely no undermining the Power of an Apology, especially when it’s a Parent saying it to their Child. In this article, we will help you navigate your way through not only ‘When’ you should Apologize, but also ‘How’ to Apologize to Children.
Have you, like Seema in the above example, contemplated saying ‘Sorry’ to your child, only to find yourself backtrack out of fear of losing ‘Control’? Discover When to Apologize to your children, starting with a closer look at What Is an Apology.
Table of Contents:
- The Need to Apologize: A Closer Look at What an Apology really is
- The Power of Apology: The Benefits of Saying ‘I’m Sorry’ to your Child
- When to Apologize to your Child
- How to Apologize to your Child
The Need to Apologize: A Closer Look at What an Apology really is
If there’s no such thing as a ‘Perfect Child’, there’s no ‘Perfect Parent’ either! When answering the question ‘What Is an Apology’, the first thing one must realize is this:
We all make Mistakes!
An apology, then, affords us the chance to be ‘human’ in front of our kids. In the end, that ‘Sorry’ you find so difficult to utter, might just strengthen your bond with your child in a way unlike any other! Wondering what the more nuanced Benefits of that ‘Apology’ are? The next section will help us decipher exactly that.
The Power of Apology: The Benefits of Saying ‘I’m Sorry’ to your Child
More than simply resolving a conflict you might have had with your child, here are the reasons that clearly outline the Power of that Apology you find yourself struggling with every now and again.
- Building Trust
- Learning from Mistakes
- You Become a Role Model
How can we expect our children to trust us, if we stick to saying we are ‘right’, when it is clear we are ‘wrong’?
To do: Take responsibility for your wrong actions, by telling your child you are Sorry. You can be assured they will garner a deep sense of Trust in you, when you do.
When we show our children our vulnerable side by apologizing to them, we show them that parents, too, can make mistakes.
To do: Apologizing to your kids will in turn help them move on from their own mistakes. They will understand that while it is all right to make mistakes, the most important thing is ‘learning’ from them..
When you apologize to your kids, you’re only laying the foundation for behavior they will model in the time to come.
To do: When you apologize, do so with sincerity. That will give your child ample courage at a subconscious level, for a time in the future when they will find the need to apologize themselves.
When to Apologize to your Child
Although there is no hard and fast rule as to When to Apologize to your child, the following considerations will surely help you nail the decision to say ‘I’m Sorry’.
- Recognizing Undue Anger
- Hitting them
Sometimes we are so stressed, we don’t realize how harsh our tone is when we scream at our kids. All that undue anger is negative energy that we and our kids could do well without!
Tip: Your ‘gut’ feeling will tell you that you have crossed the line.
Some parents might consider hitting their child ‘normal’, but it most certainly isn’t!
Note: In some cases, doing something like pushing your child away from an electrical socket they are playing with, is admissible. The last thing you want is for their life to be in danger, after all!
The Power of Apology: How to Apologize to your Child
If you think that this is the ‘hard’ part, don’t worry. Read on, to find out how to apologize in a way that makes it easy for both parent and child!
- Show them you Care
- No Excuses
- Tell them you will do things differently the next time
When you say ‘I’m Sorry’ to your child, you want to really ‘mean’ it!
To Do: Look them in the eye when you apologize to them, and do it with sincerity in your voice. Knowing that you genuinely care about their feelings, is all your child really needs.
Yes you might have apologized with all the sincerity in the world, but it might all go to waste if you add something like ‘But you must really not drop food on the sofa again.’
To do: You don’t want to get into the ‘why’ you shouted at them, because your response was clearly unwarranted.
Your children don’t know if you’re going to make the same mistakes again.
To do: You might want to tell them that the next time, you will handle the situation with a sense of calm. If you feel they might have erred in some way, you will explain it to them in a concise manner, without getting overly agitated. That will help reassure your child that you have, indeed, learned well from your ‘mistake’.
The Power of Apology is often overlooked, where it comes to telling our kids we are Sorry. As we have seen in this article, there’s good reason to apologize to our children, and effective ways to do so, too. Keep this knowledge safely stored in your mind, for the next time you find yourself having to say ‘I’m Sorry’ to your child. You might just need it sooner than you think!
