It is often rightly said that the one thing that unites a family is children. Kids are often considered as a blessing from above but what happens when that bundle of joy pushes your buttons and expresses discontentment and dislike towards you? Well, responding to such situations in the heat of the moment isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Luckily for you, we’ve got you covered. Emotional regulation in children is one of the key factors in holistic development. Listed below are some of the ways you can quickly yet sensitively diffuse a heated encounter and connect with your little ones.
Did you ever wonder what to do when your child says, ‘I hate you?’
6 Empowering Phrases to Respond with When Your Child Expresses Dislike Towards You
- I Hate You
- Leave Me Alone
- It’s Your Fault
- I Want It Now
- You Don’t Love Me
- I Don’t Want to Listen to You
Three little words that carry a myriad of feelings and can traumatise almost anyone. While hearing these words from a stranger is bad, hearing them from our child leaves a lasting impression on your heart and mind. Such outbursts in kids need to be nipped in the bud to ensure that the emotional state of a child is well-regulated. As a parent, you must not respond to your child with anger or hatred. If you’re wondering how to respond to hate, positive reinforcement in the form of comforting words and phrases like “It’s okay to feel hurt” or “You are loved” can work wonders in altering aggressive behaviour in children. You must learn how to connect with children to properly handle such stressful situations because a reply to ‘I Hate You’ can be tricky to deal with.
Kids mostly express this phrase when they feel irritated, unwanted and unloved. Wanting one’s own space is something natural and should be dealt with without making a child feel guilty for wanting it. While it isn’t alright to constantly give into the whims and fancies of your kids, it is more than okay to hear them out. However, maintaining a boundary is crucial so your child knows where to stop. You as a caregiver need to let your children know that you are there for them through thick and thin. Reassuring them that you care for them is one of the simplest ways to tackle a situation like this.
Did you question ‘why my kids hate me?”
Ever played the blame game? Well, that’s precisely what kids like to do. This kind of behaviour manifests itself when children are unable to accept the consequences of their actions. It’s far easier for a child to blame parents for things which don’t go their way. The best plan of action, when you’re in this dilemma, is to make your child understand that one has to deal with problems head-on and take responsibility for their actions. It is only through reinforcing this attitude that a child will learn to do what is right and accept mistakes and the consequences that follow.
“When coming from a child in whom there is generally a love-based relationship, ‘I hate you’ is a normal part of emotional and psychological development. How parents deal with it models for the child how difficult emotions are managed. If we can learn that I can ‘hate you’ and continue to love you, we are learning some very healthy lessons.”
Psychotherapist Noel McDermott
Have you ever been standing in the street only to feel helpless while your child throws a tantrum over an ice cream that he doesn’t get? Well, if you’ve experienced this before, you’ll know that it’s not only frustrating but also highly embarrassing. If so, you’re not alone. Almost every parent has found himself or herself in this sticky situation. The one thing you must never do is give in to a temper tantrum only to avoid further embarrassment. The logic behind this is that kids learn from repeated behaviour. Once a child knows that he can get whatever he wants, he is likely to repeat the same in the future. Parents should learn how to respond to hate to carefully and properly guide their little ones.
If one got a dollar for each time one heard this echoing from the mouths of their little tots, one would be a king. A feeling of resentment, discontentment and loneliness are feelings that plague many in today’s world. Telltale signs of a child feeling unloved are withdrawal and outbursts of anger. It is crucial for you as a parent not to encourage this behaviour but to rectify it sensitively. Sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it. Listening to your child and responding lovingly is the secret behind dealing with this kind of behaviour. Phrases like “We love you”, “You’re not alone”, and “We care for you” is the appropriate dialogue to diffuse this type of situation.
Why do children not want to listen to their parents? The answer to this isn’t complicated and is fairly straightforward. Kids like to feel like adults and make decisions for themselves. However, children are growing in body and mind and therefore, it is important for you as a mother or father to guide them down the right path. You as a caregiver know that your kids still have a long way to go before they can make the right choices in life. Oftentimes this phrase is just an invitation on the part of your child to externalise his or her frustration and initiate an argument. A natural response would be to continue the fruitless argument. However, you must stand your ground and speak rationally keeping your child’s best interest in mind. Positively and sensitively reminding your children that you are the head of the household is a good way of tackling this.
Conclusion
Most of the time, children find it difficult to express their feelings, and they often use phrases that they do not mean. I Hope this article has helped you answer the question ‘Why do my kids hate me?’ They find it challenging to communicate their needs and use other phrases to vent their frustration. To deal with times like this, we have covered details on empowering phrases to respond to your children when they express dislike towards you. Have you experienced any dislike from your child? Please share how you managed to cope with your feelings.
We at EuroKids aim to rectify the emotional and physical behaviour of preschoolers by giving them the guidance they need. We strive to formulate different plans of action to deal with every child differently, according to their unique needs. Every child is different and that difference should be understood, celebrated and moulded so that children can grow up to be responsible adults.
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